In order to effectively kill germs, health care professionals recommend singing “Happy Birthday” twice while washing your hands. Instead, in Happy Birthday to You, I sing the song and wash my hands in an intimate, durational performance that, ordinary at its start, becomes more unsettling and problematic as time passes. Using a GoPro situated at the bottom of my bathroom sink, I document the lathering and rinsing of my hands while the water, soap and skin abstracts the moving image. The video is ultimately projected on the ceiling of a bathroom, forcing bathroom-goers to witness this compulsive behavior and, should they need to wash their hands, stand directly underneath the virtual running water, an action that suggests cleansing, christening, or perhaps drowning. The entire paper towel roll, covered in hand-written text, serves as a takeaway art object that stains the hands of those who use it and forces them to wash again.